i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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