am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
