Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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