as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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