Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
