It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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