ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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