ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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