The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
