Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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