Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
