Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
