I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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