I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
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Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
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Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight