So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
hey u leave my anime porn out of this