We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
i now understand why vodka
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐