Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.