Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
