It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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