just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize