My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
