Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
