so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.