Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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