He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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