We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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