will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
