i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
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nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
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Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I need to calm my uterus...
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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