dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
this hospital has no fireball
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
