You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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