All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
