So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
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You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
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I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Also, beer. Big fan.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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