Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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