he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
