I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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