idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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