tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
