Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
