Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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