Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
