ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
