The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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