Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
my liver is dry heaving
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
