Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
