Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?

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(607): View more from New York

he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.

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(805): View more from California

No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear

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(478): View more from Georgia

First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?

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(973): View more from New Jersey

he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH

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(416): View more from Toronto

It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.

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(630): View more from Illinois

The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I got my gum stuck on his balls.

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