dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
