it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
