your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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