yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
