In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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