you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
my being single is dangerous.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
