please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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