Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
