Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
