Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize