this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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