hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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