bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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