so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
