You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
