these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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