what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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