Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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